Walking in Wisdom (Ephesians 5:15–6:9)

Introduction

“Read the room.” Imagine a retirement party for a man who had worked at a company for 40 years, beloved by his colleagues and central to the heart and soul of the company. At the party a new hire—only been there for a couple weeks—eager to impress his new coworkers, offered a toast: “I don’t know you well, but you remind me of my grandfather—grumpy, stuck in his ways, but still loveable somehow.” Crickets. Afterwards, a coworker with a bit more wisdom takes him aside and says, “This isn’t about you. This is about honoring a man who gave his life to this company. Read the room.”

Awareness of your situation shapes the way you act in that situation. You walk differently down city alleys at night than you do in your own living room. You are freer with your words when you are with the ones you trust than with those you don’t. You usually don’t crack jokes about death to a dying person. And this is the greater part of wisdom. Wisdom knows how to read the room and act appropriately.

I would venture to say that the church also needs to practice “reading the room.” Not in the sense in the story, but in a cosmic sense. The church is in desperate need to be awakened to the immense realities that surround its existence. For instance: did you know that paradise lost by Adam has been restored by Christ, who is using you in the present age to restore it, and that the way you live bears witness to that to the people around you? Read the room. Did you know that God has saved you so that he might display his manifold wisdom to angels, and that angels and demons watch you all the time so that they can see what God is doing, that God is proving a point to the angelic realm through you and your daily behavior? Read the room.

And perhaps that is why so many Christians are so weak in their church involvement: they do not read the room well. In other words, they have forgotten that they must walk wisely because they have forgotten what the church is for and what they are for. They do not realize that they stand at the center of a cosmic war, which God has been waging for centuries, to crush the head of the serpent, restore humanity to unimaginable blessing, and glorify himself in his Son. And because they don’t realize that, they give themselves over to foolish things—like circus performances during Sunday worship, car raffles, or cussing pastors. In other words, the church does foolish things when the church forgets who she is, and wisdom for the church is to wake up and shape up.

To get a glimpse of this, let’s follow “wisdom” through the book of Ephesians. If Paul’s command in Eph 5:15 is “walk not as unwise but as wise,” then we need to ask, “What is wisdom?”

·      1:8 – He has lavished redemption upon us in all wisdom and insight. In other words, redemption, forgiveness, salvation, and all their component parts unfold within the wisdom of God. Which would in turn mean that salvation is an expression of the wisdom of God. You look at all that God has done throughout history, and you hear all that he will come to do, and you should say, “That’s wisdom.”

·      1:17 – The fact that we can see that is the work of the Holy Spirit in us. That is to say, God has wisely worked in history to accomplish salvation for us, and that has displayed his wisdom. But, without the Holy Spirit working in us, we look at that work and say, “Foolishness.” Thus, we ask him, “Give me wisdom to comprehend what you’re doing in the world.” In other words, reveal to me by your Holy Spirit what this is all about. Help me understand my place in all this.

·      3:10 – Then we begin to see his broader purposes in salvation, purposes which he has in relationship to his cosmic plan of spiritual war against Satan. We come to see that we, as a church, play a role in God’s plan which is designed to demonstrate God’s wisdom to angels through the righting of all the wrongs that were caused by him. So when the angels look at the church, they should see Adam renewed. They should see a perfect new humanity. That is why you are here.

·      5:15 – Which then means that, if we get that, then it matters how we live in the church. To walk wisely means that we walk in the full knowledge of these realities. We read the cosmic room. We understand our purpose in God’s plan. We are alive to the realities of what God is doing in the church. And that should then lead us to things like making the best use of the time, understanding God’s will, not getting drunk, singing, thanksgiving. And it will lead us to things like wives submitting to their husbands and husbands loving their wives, like children obeying their parents and parents not exasperating their children. It will look like slaves working hard for their masters and masters treating their slaves as their equals.

In other words, walking in wisdom is where cosmic realities collide with every day life.Thus, Paul lays down how wisdom shapes the routine relationships—close, intimate, personal relationships. We walk with each other in the church, in marriage, in the family, and, in those days, in the household with slaves. In other words, the two contexts where God’s renewing power is most clearly seen is at church and in the home. If we are to walk in such a manner that we would be unified, holy, loving, and light-giving, we are in need of the Holy Spirit’s help to cause use to walk in wisdom. Because, let’s be honest—sometimes those relationships can be tough and messy. These are the places where we sometimes simply don’t know what to do. So we need wisdom.

Two contexts in which we must walk wisely…

I.              Walking Wisely in the Church (5:15–21)

READ. Our walk together as a church must be intentional. “Look carefully then how you walk.” That in and of itself is enough for a whole series of sermons. How many people bumble through life with no idea what they’re doing? So many of us never stop long enough to ponder why we live life the way we do. And especially when it comes to the church. Rather than the intentional kind of life that we are called to live together, churches get blown about by fads, chasing the next big controversy and consequently become irrelevant. But we must walk with care—lit. precision, accuracy, in strict conformity to the standard which God has for the church. And that’s because church matters.

And it matters additionally because we will walk together as a church, whether that walk is good or bad. More literally translated, the phrase is “look carefully then how you are walking.” That is, you are walking. The question is how you walking. The question is not whether we will have a church culture, but which church culture will we have? Not whether we will walk together as a church, but whether that walk will be stumbling or confident.

Now, for what follows, it is important to recognize that the commands are in the plural, which would seem to indicate that he is not necessarily talking to individuals, but to the church as a whole. Certainly these words have implications for individuals, but Paul primarily has in mind the church.

What are the component parts of a healthy church culture? Three “Not-But”s

1.    Not as unwise, but as wise: Healthy Churches Practice Wisdom

That is, there is a way of walking in the church that is unwise. That is, we can walk in the church, we can be members, we can regularly attend church, and yet fail to recognize wisdom. We can remain ignorant of the significance of what we’re doing and just fumble through church life in total darkness. But Paul says, “Be wise.” Acknowledge these realities.

He gives a helpful qualifier: “making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.” That is, we live in a world dominated by Satan, in which he will seek to destroy every opportunity we have. We live in an evil world, in an evil age. And that means we must “make the best use of the time.” Some translations say, “Taking advantage of every opportunity.” You see an opportunity for good deeds, an opportunity for witness, an opportunity for generosity, Paul says, “Make the best use of it. Take advantage of it.”

2.    Not foolish, but understanding the will of the Lord: Healthy Churches Submit to Scripture

“On account of this” – because of the evil days, do not be foolish. Rather, understand his will. Now, I don’t think that means that we need to get all wrapped up in fearing whether we know exactly what God thinks about every single situation, as though we can “miss God’s will” but marrying the wrong person or taking the wrong job. God’s will is very clear in Scripture. We’ll walk through that some other time. The point here is that foolishness ignores Scripture’s teaching about our duty here on earth. Foolishness fails to recognize God’s commands and use the time we have on earth to obey them well.

3.    Not drunk with wine, but filled with the Spirit: Healthy Churches are Dominated by the Power of the Spirit

That is, rather than being “under the influence” of alcohol, but under the power and influence of the Holy Spirit—not carried off into some mindless ecstatic state but dominated by his holy power, walking in his will and obeying his commandments in Scripture. Remember this is a church command before it is an individual one—Paul is not saying, You, Justin, be filled with the Spirit, but You, Shepherd Bible Church, as a church, be filled with the Spirit.

When we do, it will look like a thriving spiritual culture of mutual encouragement and admonition (v19). It will look like heart-felt vertical worship (v19), it will look like pervasive thankfulness (v20), and it will look like properly ordered structures of authority and submission. Which is what the rest of this section is about.

II.           Walking Wisely in the Home (5:22–6:9)

Now, a preliminary thing that we must note about these following categories of marriage, family, and slaves is that they all occurred within the household. Slaves were part of the household. They lived with their masters and were a normal part of everyday life. Thus, Paul is not discussing three separate and disjoined areas of life, but conceives of husbands, wives, children, and slaves as all part of a single household—a household in which these principles of walking wisely must be operational.

Whenever we start to talk about authority and submission, we immediately evoke skepticism from many people. Authority is understood as “tyranny” and submission is understood as “subservience.” But that is not the biblical vision. Notice two things: 1) those in positions of authority are never (not even in the whole bible) commanded to “exercise authority.” Rather, they are told to mind their responsibilities which come with that authority. And 2) those in positions of submission are commanded to submit, but always in relationship to the expression of some theological truth which their submission expresses. In other words, submission has nothing to do with the person you’re submitting to and everything to do with what you’re saying about God when you submit.

So, what does it mean to have a wisely ordered household? Very briefly.

1.    Wives must submit to their husbands.

As wives submit to their own husbands, they model the kind of responsive and submissive love that the church ought to have for Christ. It is a God-ward motivation (“as to the Lord”)—it is not based on the person you submit to but the expression of your submission to the Lord. It is a Christ-ward expression (“Christ is the head of the church”)—a wife’s submission expresses the theological reality that Christ is the authority of his church. Which means that a wife who refuses to practice submission actually distorts the picture of Christ and discourages people from coming into the church. It is a comprehensive submission (“in everything”)—it leaves nothing out. The church comprehensively submits to Christ, the wife comprehensively submits to her husband. That doesn’t mean you simply do what he says without questioning, but that there is no area of her life where he does not oversee it.

2.    Husbands must love their wives.

Much to say here, but we must be brief. Husbands are not told to exercise authority over their wives. Rather, they are told to love their wives. Which means that husbandly authority is authority expressed by loving his wife. And what does that love look like? 1) it is selfless—gave himself up, 2) sanctifying—sanctify her, 3) cleansing—washing with water of the word, 4) glorying—it glories in her beauty and purity. It is also a kind of sanctified self-love, because he and his wife are one. For him to love her is for him to love himself. For him to hate her is for him to hate himself. And it is a kind of love which, like the wife’s submission, is designed to reflect Christ’s loving headship over his bride.

Summary: He must love; she must respect. I remember MacArthur telling a story about a man who came up to him after preaching on marriage and telling him, “I just don’t love my wife anymore.” MacArthur’s response was: “Then you’d better repent.”

3.    Children must obey their parents.

There is also much to say here, and much that is very relevant. This text does not imply that children are members of the church, but simply that they are created in the image of God and that they therefore must obey their parents. They are also “part of” the church, not in the sense that they are members of the church but that they live in the church culture by virtue of their relationship to their parents. Thus, we draw this conclusion: children in our church must be taught to obey their parents, that they might recognize God’s authority through learning to obey. A mother looked at her son and told him, “If you don’t learn to obey me, you will never learn to obey God.” So, children, listen here: God expects you to obey your parents, and he promises you that, if you do, you will be blessed. And, parents, God expects you to teach your children to obey you through discipline, and that this is the best way you can express love to them.

4.    Fathers must nourish their children.

Again, we recognize that fathers are not commanded to exercise authority over their children, but to not provoke them and to nourish them. The negative command: do not stir them up to wrath. That is, do not do things that would drive them to despair, resentment, bitterness, frustration, or anger. There are ways that parents can raise their children which, over time, builds up in the church and eventually explodes in a torrent of rebellion and anger. Parents must avoid these patterns. MacArthur gives some good examples of what it looks like to exasperate a child: be overprotective, show favoritism, set unrealistically high expectations, give them everything they could ever want, discourage them by failing to understand them and failing to reward them for the good they do, and by physical abuse.

On the contrary, they are to nourish them, to bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. That is, we must plant and nurture the seeds of faith in their little hearts. Which means that we must teach our children the Scriptures, to acknowledge God’s existence, to understand his saving plan of salvation, to receive their own responsibility to obey God, to walk wisely in the world, and many other things. And we teach them through loving discipline, consistent and repeated instruction, through a certain kind of enculturation in the church, and first and foremost through our example in the home. In fact, for parents, the best way to nourish your children’s faith is to nurture your marriage.

5.    Slaves must obey their masters.

With this, we get into a bunch of thorny issues which it is not my purpose to discuss. I will only mention as I did earlier that slaves were part of the household. That means that, while there are parallels to the workplace and perhaps some important lessons to learn, they are not exact and require care in application. Regardless, Christ’s saving work in creating a new humanity recreates even slaves in a household. Thus, rather than resenting, rebelling, or hating their masters, they were commanded to obey, respect, and serve their masters. Why? Not because slavery was right, but because they were now slaves to a greater Master—as it says in v6: “as bondservants (i.e., slaves) of Christ.” Christ’s will for slaves in the old days was not that they should immediately liberate themselves and throw off the yoke of slavery, but to recognize that they are still slaves‚ just slaves to a greater Master. And then they were to render service to their earthly masters not in contradiction to their new authority but as an expression of their new authority. In other words, Christ commands slaves to obey their earthly masters not because he condoned slavery, but because their earthly slavery has been transformed into an opportunity to picture their slavery to Christ.

6.    Masters must treat their slaves as equals.

Paul’s revolutionary advice to slaves is equally revolutionary when it comes to Masters—“Do the same to them.” The same thing? Yes. What does that mean? I think it boils down to this: do unto your slaves what you would have them do unto you. Render service to your slaves. Respect them. Don’t do this merely by way of eye-service, but from the heart. Foster a warm place of compassion for them. That means that they are also to “stop their threatening”—rather than eliciting obedience from their slaves through threat of force and punishment, they were to draw obedience out through demonstrating a willingness to serve selflessly, show respect, and have a good will.

The reason is clear: “knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.” I.e., Master, you also are a slave, right next to your slave. Therefore, don’t act like you have authority over him like that. Instead, recognize that your master does not show partiality. He doesn’t care that you’re rich, powerful, great, noble, and in a position of authority. He cares that you obey him, just like he cares that your slave obeys him.

And you can see how this kind of attitude would naturally and inevitably evaporate slavery itself.

Conclusion

In conclusion, we need to bring it back to where we started. Walk wisely. What does it mean to walk wisely? It means to read the cosmic room, to recognize the spiritual and unseen realities that swirl around you every day, and to allow those realities to impact how your live your everyday life at church and at home. That’s walking wisely.

Small things can often exhibit huge realities. The small act of coming to church on a Sunday morning exhibits the huge reality of God demonstrating his manifold wisdom to heavenly authorities. The small act of singing to one another in church exhibits the huge reality that God has made us one new man in Jesus Christ. The small act of a wife saying to her husband, “I respect you” exhibits the huge reality that Jesus Christ is worthy of all our worship. The small act of a husband selflessly taking the children so his wife can have some time to herself exhibits the cosmic reality that Christ gave himself for the church. The small act of children obeying their parents exhibits the authority of God. The small act of daily nurturing your children in the knowledge of God exhibits the same. So on and so forth.

That is what it means to walk wisely as a church. Read the room. Recognize the times. And get to work in his power and grace.